The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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