I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
