Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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