Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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