That's intense
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
