idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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