She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
