I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
