ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
