We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize