Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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