Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Come see our sink grown plant.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
