talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
