i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she looked like the before picture.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
