So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
