If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
