You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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