How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
