guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Panties = found
Randomize
