i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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