just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
