I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
This house was built for laser tag.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
