i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
