I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
