Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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