How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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