I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
