i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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