Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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