i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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