the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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