I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Randomize
