"it" just moved
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
