Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
