When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
