haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
