I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
How's work?
Spinning.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
ok first of all what the fuck
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
