before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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