Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
