it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize