But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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