Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize