His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
