she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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