So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
