Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
