Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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