he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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