apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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