Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
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