Texts From Last Night

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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode

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  (321): I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode http://tfl.nu/96an
  Replies (6) Good night (910) Bad night (3180)
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  (518): View more from New York

  you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face

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  (518): you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face http://tfl.nu/32pr
  Replies (24) Good night (3445) Bad night (699)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka

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  (423): Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka http://tfl.nu/w8nb
  Replies (9) Good night (1182) Bad night (3765)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  She even gives head with a lisp.

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  (407): She even gives head with a lisp. http://tfl.nu/76cl
  Replies (17) Good night (2415) Bad night (4736)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.

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  (419): Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off. http://tfl.nu/9bhr
  Replies (6) Good night (1005) Bad night (2765)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying

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  (502): we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying http://tfl.nu/sr7p
  Replies (5) Good night (1706) Bad night (2223)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.

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  (904): Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot. http://tfl.nu/hyac
  Replies (11) Good night (2133) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.

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  (607): You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive. http://tfl.nu/27zg
  Replies (27) Good night (2787) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (+33): View more from France

  So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?

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  (+33): So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts? http://tfl.nu/237o
  Replies (14) Good night (3113) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned

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  (519): You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned http://tfl.nu/faec
  Replies (4) Good night (976) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.

  (469): View more from Texas

  BP at your house from now on.

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  (214): NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off. (469): BP at your house from now on. http://tfl.nu/i1e8
  Replies (0) Good night (617) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S

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  (501): if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S http://tfl.nu/vq6v
  Replies (1) Good night (269) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all

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  (501): The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all http://tfl.nu/rl4u
  Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (166)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE

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  (203): I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE http://tfl.nu/wb1j
  Replies (3) Good night (404) Bad night (213)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours

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  (303): Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours http://tfl.nu/pdaj
  Replies (0) Good night (369) Bad night (154)

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