I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
