Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(915): View more from Texas

like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on

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(914): View more from New York

I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.

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(240): View more from Maryland

it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick

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(613): View more from Ontario

If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day

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(727): View more from Florida

I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.

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