You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."