I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.