isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
