I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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