omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
