i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
