do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
