i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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