hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
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In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
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I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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