i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle