No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.