But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
