Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.

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(908): We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends. http://tfl.nu/o9if

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(519): View more from Ontario

All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.

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(519): All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like. http://tfl.nu/ro2k

Replies (50) Good night (6654) Bad night (877)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for

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(304): Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for http://tfl.nu/goo7

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.

(1-262): View more from Wisconsin

That's funny. Are they weird looking???

(262): View more from Wisconsin

OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.

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(262): There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart. (1-262): That's funny. Are they weird looking??? (262): OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS. http://tfl.nu/egmz

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came

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(412): Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came http://tfl.nu/do8g

Replies (40) Good night (2823) Bad night (6732)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.

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(228): Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer. http://tfl.nu/k59r

Replies (6) Good night (3928) Bad night (1103)
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(845): View more from New York

You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.

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(845): You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign. http://tfl.nu/2tl8

Replies (15) Good night (2702) Bad night (1008)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that

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(630): Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that http://tfl.nu/h45m

Replies (4) Good night (1764) Bad night (765)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.

(1-773): View more from Illinois

Can you see in?

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(773): Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter. (1-773): Can you see in? http://tfl.nu/hc5g

Replies (1) Good night (463) Bad night (652)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment

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(570): So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here (1-570): Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment http://tfl.nu/lwx4

Replies (1) Good night (555) Bad night (314)
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(347): View more from New York

Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed

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(347): Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed http://tfl.nu/rghw

Replies (2) Good night (735) Bad night (350)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants

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(816): I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants http://tfl.nu/igf3

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I'm getting married

(910): View more from North Carolina

To pizza

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(910): I'm getting married (910): To pizza http://tfl.nu/qtma

Replies (2) Good night (554) Bad night (234)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.

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(864): Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time. http://tfl.nu/arik

Replies (0) Good night (391) Bad night (200)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.

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(412): At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center. http://tfl.nu/9xaw

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