Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
