i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
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I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
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Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Those nachos came to me in a dream